so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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