your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
