I molested 6 butterflies tonight
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
