I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You dont lie about slip and slides
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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