My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize