i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
