so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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