so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
