i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
