So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Randomize
