That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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