i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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