weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Randomize