she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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