lets start a swedish sibling band together
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
