i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
