For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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