Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
