dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
