I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
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I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
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Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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