Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
