I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize