I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
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You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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