yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
