just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
