I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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