I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
