I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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