she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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