I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
