Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
