I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
