Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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