Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
