I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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