did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
