She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize