Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
