Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
