i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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