Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
