not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize