I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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