We're facebook friends in real life
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
My liver just broke up with me...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
