I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Boobs are out for the taking
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
