yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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