i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
