I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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