I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
