if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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