why didn't you poke me back
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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