therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
