all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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