just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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