well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
