Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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