What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
