I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
