jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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