I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
