I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
