You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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